Sean Ennis

ACTUALLY, THE PROWLER IRIS

There are no alligators in the Bramble sewer system. No mutant, red-eyed rodents. No flushed and overgrown pet goldfish. No pirate treasure. No ancient artifacts. No abandoned alien technology. No reclusive community of mole people, or even a normal, evicted family fucked by a system they are powerless within. Not a single thing that doesn’t belong there, so don’t worry. There is just sewage in the Bramble sewers. You know what that is.

2.

Actually, the Prowler Iris grows in shafts of sunlight out of the rich soil in the Bramble sewer system. There is that.

Believe me, I feel the pressure to suggest that the flower is medicinal or hallucinogenic or otherwise magical. There’s really no evidence of that. Everything in Bramble isn’t spooky. No one uses the Prowler Iris as a symbol or as a metaphor for beauty in unexpected places, or grit against the odds, etc. The flower smells funny, looks like some creature’s genitalia, and no one really feels like going down and picking them. Of course, what pollinates these flowers remains deeply mysterious.

3.

Just kidding. Flowers have been finding pollinators for over one hundred million years. The Bramble sewers were not a closed system. Even cockroaches can help with the work.

4.

There is no shortage of informative data though. Wastewater surveys can reveal when Bramble wakes, drinks, parties, panics, menstruates, medicates, binges, or fasts. I have no direct access to that data, but it does exist. Occasionally, the Mad Professors of Bramble County Community College release a report.

5.

As a Bramble child, if your ball went down the storm drain, you found two rakes. You used the handle of one rake to pry open the manhole cover and slide it out of the way. You got down on your stomach, and you angled the rakes like a claw to retrieve the ball. You got down on your stomach and faced the putrid water. You got face down on your stomach and could easily be stomped. You got down on your stomach, face to the rank stream, and delicate as a surgeon, you removed the foreign body from the system before you were stomped. `

There is no doubt among each generation of Bramble kids that they invented the ritual and technique.

Sean Ennis is the author of Chase Us: Stories (Little A), Hope and Wild Panic (Malarkey Books), and most recently, Rat Aesthetics (Sand and Gravel Press). He lives in Mississippi, USA.